


There's Too Much Love To Go Around These Days

by donniedont



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Awkward Flirting, Childhood Friends, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Reunions, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23056657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donniedont/pseuds/donniedont
Summary: Felix is relatively content with his life.  He's the assistant director of an after-school program, working closely with his childhood best friend, Dimitri.  His routine is disrupted when a new teacher starts at the school and he must ask himself if he wants to make a move.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 12
Kudos: 112





	There's Too Much Love To Go Around These Days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [samariumwriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samariumwriting/gifts).



> It's my first ever sylvix fic! Thank you so much to Joey for taking the time to edit this fic, especially because it was a classic example of a fic escaping me in terms of word count. 
> 
> I hope this is to your liking, Leo! It was a nice challenge to write from Felix's POV again, especially in a modern setting!
> 
>  **Content Warnings:** Discussions of child abuse, implied reference to self harm

Felix caught sight of the train pulling in and yelled, “Let’s  _ go _ , Dimitri!”

Dimitri looked up from his phone, his eye squinting at the train for a moment. He gasped and charged ahead, clumsily pulling his transit card through the reader before pushing himself through the turnstile. Felix followed behind him, breathing a sigh of relief when they were able to toss themselves into the train car. They grabbed a pole and Dimitri returned to his phone while Felix watched him. After knowing him for their entire lives, Felix knew by now what he looked like when he was irritated. His eyebrow was furrowed and the corner of his lip pulled up, his fingers pressing hard enough against the screen that he looked like he could crack it. Felix checked the phone case and confirmed that he was definitely on the work phone.

“What’s going on?” Felix asked.

Dimitri looked up, his eye roaming slightly until he focused on Felix. “Oh, just…” he started before he sighed, “Uh, the dad who accused a kid of stealing his son’s glove wants to get the principal involved.”

He rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake.”

He had spent the day before spending the entirety of their after-school program trying to find the glove and interviewing anybody potentially involved. There was nothing conclusive concerning the missing glove and Felix hoped that it would be dropped. Judging by Dimitri’s face, however, that was simply not the case.

“I’ll take care of it,” Dimitri said, “Just… I’ll let you know if I need backup.”

Felix turned away, biting back a snide remark. Sometimes it felt like the distinction between Dimitri being director and Felix being assistant director was arbitrary. They split the job as they needed to, the only time Dimitri ever asserting his title when it came to having to talk to adults. Felix had no qualms with the policy. 

The train slowed down and Felix led them out, gesturing towards Dimitri to get him to stop staring at his phone. They walked side-by-side, only splitting up when they had to go through the turnstile.

“I haven’t been notified about any absences,” Dimitri said, finally putting his phone back in his pocket.

“Me either,” Felix replied.

“And, uh, well… it’s Monday, so…” He brought his hand to his neck, playing with the pieces of hair that stuck out from his ponytail, “...I have to leave early for therapy.”

“I know,” Felix said, “Lysithea and I will close up.”

Dimitri smiled nervously. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“I don’t understand why you have to ask for permission. You being in therapy makes  _ my _ life easier, anyway,” he snapped. 

Dimitri slumped over, shrugging his shoulders before he said, “You’re right, you’re right.”

He cleared his throat. Dimitri looked like he wanted to say more, his lip seemingly twitching Instead, he ducked toward the door, opening it and letting Felix in before they both went inside.

The main office was fairly busy, typical as they were still in the middle of the school day. The secretaries said hello to them and Dimitri poked his head into the principal’s office to see if she was there. Meanwhile, Felix peeked into the copy machine, where he saw someone hunched over and punching in information on the touchpad.

Felix squinted as the person looked up. They weren’t a staff member he had seen before. The person had a shock of red hair that appeared to be strategically tousled on top of their head. It was in sharp contrast to their clothes, which were entirely black from the collared shirt, to their dress pants, to their black on black sneakers. 

The person brought their arms over her head and they stretched, humming quietly. Felix felt his heart pound in his chest as he noticed that the person’s face looked so familiar.

Memories of massive dirt piles and tall trees splashed across Felix’s memory. Dimitri was there, as was their friend Ingrid, and a redheaded boy who gladly led the adventures, claiming that he heard about them from the other kids who were a grade older than them. They spent a summer as a quartet, skinning their knees and playing pretend, Dimitri asking quietly if he could be a prince and Felix insisting that he was a knight that went by a boy’s name. Ingrid scrunched her nose every time, but the boy reassured them that they absolutely could. 

It took a moment, but Felix remembered his fleeting friend’s name. Sylvain Gautier. He tried to see if he could catch a glance of his nametag, but he resisted. 

Dimitri placed his hand on Felix’s shoulder as he walked past. Felix pulled himself away from the doorframe and left the office, taking large steps to catch up with Dimitri.

“There’s going to be a meeting about the glove,” Dimitri mumbled. A student passed by and his face immediately shifted to a grin, giving them an individualized handshake. Felix just waved, making sure to say the student’s name in his greeting.

“I assume you still want me out of it?” Felix asked.

“Yes. I’ll let you know if I change my mind,” Dimitri replied. They stopped at the security desk, the school safety officers sitting in their usual spots. Shamir was positioned at the desk itself, scanning the security cameras. Catherine was sitting in a chair behind her, flagrantly playing a game on her phone.

“Hey, hey!” Catherine greeted, waving before yelping and bringing her hand back to her phone.

Shamir rolled her eyes and grumbled, “Good afternoon.” 

“Anything you find out today?” Felix asked.

Shamir nodded before going into the information she and Catherine were able to uncover throughout the day. Most of it was gossip--such as break ups and scuffles--but the information typically helped Dimitri and Felix manage how to interact with the kids in their program. 

“Dimitri, your man’s in your office,” Catherine said, not breaking eye contact with her phone.

Dimitri blushed immediately, checking the clock over the desk. “Oh, it’s his lunch time… well, thank you!” 

Felix rolled his eyes and said his goodbyes before he also made his way toward the office.

As grating as it could be spending nearly every working hour with Dimitri, Felix had learned that it was a strange compromise to other alternatives. The fact that Dimitri could function in a full-time job, let alone an administrative position, seemed nearly impossible considering how his teenage and college years went. Dimitri credited Felix for his recovery and in many ways Felix couldn’t deny that he had to have helped. He was the one who found Dimitri wandering streets near their college apartment, held ultimatums to their friendship to make him seek help, and found himself staying by his side, even when he was certain that Dimitri was going to throw them both off of the edge into the darkness that he was getting caught up in.

But he got better. Or rather, he reshaped himself. He became something that could be a living, breathing, being and Felix still struggled with accepting that his childhood friend was never going to quite be how he was before he was consumed by whatever ghosts lurked under the surface of his skin.

This version of Dimitri was tolerable--decent, if Felix was willing to be honest. He somehow courted a science teacher, Dedue Molinaro, at the school who was also decent, but Felix would never say that to either of their faces.

When they entered the office, Dedue was sitting there, looking up something on Dimitri’s computer. Dimitri all but purred when he walked over toward him, nuzzling his neck and saying, “Hello, my darling.” 

Their lead teaching assistant, Lysithea, was in front of the computer, making a gagging noise. She shoved a chocolate chip cookie into her mouth and began chewing it loudly. 

Felix rolled his eyes, hoping that Lysithea caught it. Judging by her snort, she did. 

“Let’s have lunch,” Dedue told Dimitri. Dimitri nodded and grabbed a stool, sitting down next to him as Dedue divided containers of food among the two of them.

Felix sat in front of his own computer, grateful his desk was tilted away from them. He had no reason to dislike Dedue. In many ways, he was a good person and a perfect romantic partner for Dimitri. He seemed like a decent enough teacher, even going as far as to teach hydroponics to the students during after-school. He had a level of patience even other teachers at the school lacked, willing to deal with the nonsense that was middle schoolers with a certain level of grace. He had a similar level of grace when it came to Dimitri, who had a laundry list of accommodations even after maintaining a consistent treatment plan.

Felix turned around to see Dedue and Dimitri were eating some kind of salad. Dimitri popped cherry tomatoes in his mouth like they were candy. He grinned and Dedue looked about ready to fold over himself he looked so smitten. 

He sighed and said, “Hey, Dedue. Is there a new teacher?”

Dedue didn’t react, Dedue asking Dimitri something in a quiet voice.

“ _ Hey _ !” Felix exclaimed, “Mr. Molinaro! Is there a new teacher at the school?”

Dedue flinched, breaking eye contact with Dimitri to turn toward Felix. “Oh, yes,” he said, “There’s a new English teacher.”

Dimitri’s eyes scanned the room, his lips quirking. 

“He’s a redhead,” Lysithea pipped in before taking another bite of her cookie and swallowing, “Tall, always in black.” 

Felix tried to figure out how Lysithea had seen this guy before either of them. It made him wonder what she did when the two of them weren’t in the office yet. He wondered if she could name the faculty at this school with more certainty than he could.

“Oh, Mr. Gautier?” Dedue asked, “He’s replacing that English teacher who retired early.”

Felix took a deep breath. He hated that Dedue didn’t give the guy’s first name. He didn’t want to have to ask a follow up question. 

“Why do you ask?” Dedue added.

Felix waved his hand. “I saw him in the office and wanted to know. It’s whatever.”

Dedue raised his eyebrows. Felix clenched his fist, bracing himself for some snide remark from Dedue about his obvious stumbling, but no comments were made. Felix loosened his hand, turning toward Dimitri, who seemed to be trying to get Lysithea’s attention, even though she was still focused on the computer monitor. 

Felix wanted to close the conversation at this point. He could already come up with plenty of methods to figure out this guy’s first name. It could be as easy as getting up, walking to the main office, and asking one of the secretaries. Even then, he wasn’t sure how he could handle the secretary witnessing his visceral reaction regardless of if it was the same person or not.

He waited until Dedue turned away from him, focusing on Dimitri again. Dedue must have noticed that Dimitri was distressed, placing his hand on top of Dimitri’s. Dimitri was finally making eye contact with Dedue and Felix saw it as the best possible opportunity to ask. “Dedue, do you know his first name?”

“Sylvain,” Dedue replied, his attention still focused on Dimitri. 

Felix nodded, grateful that no one could see him. He tried to ignore that his eyes were beginning to burn as he said, “Hey, Dimitri, does that name sound familiar to you?”

Dimitri tilted his head, face blank. “I don’t know,” he admitted.

Felix sighed. Of course he didn’t. Dimitri’s memory had been garbage for years, but he always held out that maybe, just maybe, he could remember something without being prompted.

“Do you remember the summer that we hung out with that redheaded kid? When we tried to climb that dirt pile in the park and got in trouble because we were covered in mud?”

Dimitri’s lone eye stared at him blankly for a long moment before he blinked.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, “Wait, you think that’s him?”

“Please tell me this was a childhood friend,” Dedue said wryly.

Dimitri nodded. He turned in toward Dedue and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before he said, “He was a year older than us, so we thought he was so cool. You know how that goes. We played a lot of pretend games and he would let me be boy characters without making a fuss about it. Same with Felix.”

Felix found himself breathing a sigh of relief he didn’t even realize he was holding. He didn’t realize how much he needed validation on this topic until his nerves were melting away in response. He wasn’t someone who thought that his memory was faulty or that he needed validation from Dimitri concerning it.

Dedue finally turned back to Felix, his face unreadable. “Well, he hasn’t irritated me yet, so he must have grown into a decent person.” He checked his phone and sighed. “I have to go prep for my next class.” He leaned in and kissed Dimitri’s temple, staying close to him when he asked, “Are you going to be alright?”

“Oh, yeah. Don’t worry about us, beloved,” Dimitri said, smiling.

That pet name always rattled Felix the slightest bit. There was a depth to it that made him realize how serious Dimitri’s feelings toward Dedue went. If Felix was being honest, it was that intensity that concerned him the most about Dimitri. He felt things far more than anyone else he ever met, which usually resulted in him being great working with middle schoolers and little else. Dedue never seemed to get tired of it, but it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t eventually.

Dedue kissed Dimitri’s forehead before he got up, saying goodbye to Lysithea and Felix and heading out.

Dimitri tucked a piece of blond hair behind his ear and he sighed. “Felix, let’s meet in the stairwell.”

Felix nodded, not even looking at Lysithea before the two of them walked towards the stairwell next to the gym. It was one of the only places that they could ever find privacy, the glassed enclosure only holding a few steps heading out toward a back entrance. Dimitri sat on the topmost step and Felix leaned against the railing, the two of them not looking at each other.

“I can’t believe Sylvain Gautier is back,” Dimitri murmured, “I wonder if he would even recognize us.”

Felix nervously undid his bun and reset it again. It was a question he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to. The two of them had gone through various markers of transition to a point that the only people that seemed to question it were a smattering of people who knew them by their dead names. Optimistically, Sylvain would respect that they were trans. One would assume that as a teacher he would have a baseline understanding of identity and respecting people for it. But he had seen too many teachers go against this theory. He had to be wary.

“It’s possible he will remember our last names,” Felix said.

“I don’t mind if he remembers. I don’t think,” Dimitri said. He hunched forward, tugging at the laces of his sneakers. “I suppose it’s one of those things that I will have to experience to figure out how I would truly feel.”

Felix turned toward the windows, gazing down the hallway before grumbling, “It’s just exhausting.”

“I can agree with that,” Dimitri said. He yanked the lace of his shoe and stared at it for a long moment before he tied it again.

*

Felix was grateful that there was a program to jump into. He realized he hadn’t made time for lunch and shrugged it off, walking outside to grab a coffee before he came back to the office. It was full of staff members: Lysithea darting around and giving out tasks for the day while Dimitri spoke with an instructor. Felix evaded the chaos, grabbing his supplies for student check-in and walking toward the cafeteria, waiting for his staff members to trail in. 

The day was following a pretty typical routine. Dimitri led check-in, sharing out any information he found out about the students in their program. After that, everyone went to their positions and waited patiently for the bell to ring and usher in all of the kids. Felix grabbed a table that was positioned against a soda machine and walked out, setting it up by the security desk Catherine and Shamir were positioned.

When Felix started the job, Dimitri tied himself up in knots thinking about how they were supposed to work as a team and how certain tasks would be divided between the two of them. Felix was exhausted by Dimitri’s speculation and decided to focus on finding the roles between the two of them on the fly. At the beginning of the program Felix was content being at the exit, making sure kids who were supposed to be in after-school were redirected toward the cafeteria to check in.

He wasn’t certain if it was more difficult for Felix himself to accept that he liked children or for him to realize that children didn’t hate him. Even when he was nearly physically tossing kids into the cafeteria, they were laughing, rolling their eyes and saying that they were sorry for trying to cross him. 

Felix craned his neck toward the window into the cafeteria and found Dimitri. At the moment he was on the mic, telling kids to grab their snack and sit down. Dimitri was a naturally nervous person, but it seemed like he was always significantly more confident when he was working with children. A kid walked over and did a handshake, Dimitri’s eyebrows furrowing as he attempted to keep up. The kid’s eyes lit up before they took a seat and Dimitri smiled, it only fading when he told another kid to stop bouncing a basketball.

Felix refocused on the crowd of students leaving, which eventually petered out. He returned to the desk as Dimitri began dismissing the students to their classes. He waved at the kids as they walked upstairs, Lysithea sneaking out with one of the groups and grabbing chair before sitting down next to Felix.

“I can’t stay here forever,” she told him. “Sorry. I have to run some rosters upstairs and Dimitri is going into a meeting about the baseball glove. I’ll try to get back as soon as I can.”

“It’s fine. Do what you need to do,” Felix replied. Even if there wasn’t the incident with the glove happening, he was used to having to be stuck at the desk. He turned toward Catherine and Shamir and asked, “Did the parents come in yet?”

“Yeah while you guys were in the cafeteria,” Catherine said, “I’ll give you a heads up when I see them.”

Lysithea got up to go upstairs and eventually Catherine tugged on the back of Felix’s chair as Dimitri’s voice began to echo through the hall. 

“We will also make sure our staff is on the lookout for the glove,” Dimitri explained, “I am sorry again…”

“Yeah, yeah,” a second voice grumbled, “Whatever. What a waste of time.”

An older man stormed toward the exit, not even acknowledging Catherine or Shamir. Felix sighed, leaning back on his chair and waiting patiently for Dimitri to approach the table.

“He seems charming,” Shamir noted.

Dimitri took a deep breath, rolling his shoulders. 

“The meeting didn’t go well I take it,” Felix said.

Dimitri shook his head. “This dad is a piece of work,” he muttered, which was probably the meanest thing he was ever going to say about a parent, especially when he was still on school grounds. “My apologies. I’m going to go back to the office for a moment.”

Felix watched him walk back and propped his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand. It seemed like the worst part of youth development was consistently the fact that they had to work with parents. Dimitri was usually earnest enough that parents could \be reassured that their kids were in good hands with him. Even then, there were still incidents like this that Dimitri couldn’t charm his way out of.

Dimitri eventually returned, fumbling with his eye patch. 

“Do you think this dad is serious about calling lawyers?” Felix asked.

“Uh, potentially,” Dimitri admitted. He brought his hand away from his face and looked at Felix expectantly. Felix nodded his head and Dimitri asked, “How has program been going?”

“Walkies have been quiet,” Felix said, “Lysithea is making sure the rosters have been distributed.”

“I was thinking about joining in on floor hockey,” Dimitri said. The two of them paused, listening to the inevitable sound of sneakers slapping against the gym floor.

“Uh, sure,” Felix replied.

“I’m going to go play some floor hockey.”

Felix raised his eyebrows. “Whatever. Do what you gotta do.”

“I’m sorry. I just. Yeah, I’m going to go,” Dimitri said. He walked toward the gym and Felix snorted. He knew he should be grateful that Dimitri wasn’t wallowing, but he sure wished that he had a better way of looking out for himself.

They saw each other during the transition between sessions, but other than that it was Felix at the desk. He spoke passively with Catherine and Shamir periodically, but most of the later part of his day was saying hello to parents and calling for their kids to come down to be picked up. Roughly fifteen minutes before program ended, Dimitri reappeared, trying to put his jacket on while walking. He stopped at the desk, clearing his throat.

“See ya,” Felix said, leaning back.

Dimitri huffed, trying to get his sleeve on and smoothing out the collar of his jacket. “I mean, I figured we should check in first…” he started.

“There’s nothing to report,” Felix said, “Everything’s been normal up here. The school probably isn’t going to burn down, because you had to head out.”

Dimitri sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Well, then I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

“Goodbye. Go. I don’t feel like being blamed for you being late to your session,” Felix snapped.

Dimitri blinked several times before he nodded his head. “Right, of course,” he said. He smiled nervously before he said goodbye to Catherine and Shamir and left.

Nearly immediately, Felix heard someone walking down the stairs closest to his desk. He checked the clock and frowned, realizing that it was too early for anyone to be leaving their classes. The door opened and there was Sylvain, slinging his bag across his shoulder.

He turned to the desk and grinned at Felix. “Hey!” Sylvain exclaimed, “You’re one of the people who work for after-school, right?” 

Felix found himself staring, but he couldn’t pull himself away. Even if Felix didn’t recognize him from his youth, he couldn’t deny that Sylvain was attractive. He was tall and filled into his features. His lip was quirked in a playful way that he wanted to find irritating, but he was undeniably charmed. He also refused to give any indication that he was.

“Yeah, I am,” Felix replied flatly, “Why?”

“Oh, I just wanted to ask you guys what you do!” Sylvain exclaimed.

“We run programming until six o’clock for kids,” Felix replied, “It’s free. I’m the assistant director. Dimitri is the director, but he isn’t here right now.”

Sylvain rubbed his chin and said, “Oh, that’s cool.” He repositioned himself, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Uh, weird question, but have we met before? There’s something about you that looks really familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

Felix cleared his throat. “Uh, not sure. I live in the city and have worked at camps around here for awhile, so… we might have and didn’t realize it.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Sylvain replied. He tilted his head and stayed still for an agonizingly long moment before he lifted his chin and said, “Well! It was nice meeting you. I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah. I’m usually here,” Felix replied, “Like, right here. At the desk.”

Sylvain grinned. “Hm, sounds like Dimitri should give you the chance to leave your post once in awhile.”

Felix snorted. “I’ll relay the message. I’ve got to oversee dismissal soon, so I am going to have to cut you off.”

“Fair enough,” Sylvain said. He squinted at him for another uncomfortably long moment before he said, “Well, it was nice meeting you… what’s your name?”

“Felix,” he said. He felt himself wanting to give his last name, but he caught himself. 

“Felix,” Sylvain said, “I’m Sylvain. I’ll see you around. Hopefully not just at this desk.” His eyes went up and down and Felix sat up straight. Sylvain smiled and said goodbye to Catherine and Shamir before he left.

He could hear Catherine laughing, ready to make a snide remark and Felix cut her off by jumping up and muttering that he had to focus on dismissal.

*

Felix arrived at the school before Dimitri the next morning. He was excited to open up the gym and see that he caught the space at a rare time that a class wasn’t running and the office was empty. Lysithea would not be in until the early afternoon and Dimitri was at their other office to do payroll. He rolled into his chair and turned on the computer, allowing himself to focus on responding to emails and organizing the office.

Dimitri came in a few hours later, taking the cleaning as a cue for him to push things around at his desk. He wordlessly fell into the routine, checking through papers and piling them up.

“How did program go after I left?” Dimitri asked.

“No issues to report,” he said with a shrug, “As anticipated.” 

Dimitri stared at him for a long moment before he turned back to his desk. 

“Anything else about that baseball glove?” Felix asked.

“Not yet,” Dimitri said, his voice ominously flat. 

“You’re doing that thing when you toss everyone else’s mistakes on yourself. The only thing that will come of that will be you sinking further into whatever hole you feel the need dig yourself into whenever you’re within a mile radius of something going wrong.” Felix felt ridiculous giving advice to someone he knew spent hundreds of dollars every month to speak to a professional. 

He wondered if it was just a habit he never quite let go of from back when that wasn’t an option. When he knew Dimitri was hurting, but felt that he had to keep the promise to not tell anyone. 

“You’re right,” Dimitri said. “My apologies.”

At least he was in a place to just accept the advice as opposed to screaming at Felix about how it didn’t cure the guilt plaguing his mind. Or worse, didn’t rid him of the ghosts his mind was convinced were real. 

Felix located a pile of business cards at the back of his desk. He kneeled down, piling them up in his hands before he tossed them in the garbage.

“I saw Sylvain,” he said.

A bang rang out, Dimitri groaning along with it. Felix looked up and saw him grabbing his head and hissing. “How was he?” Dimitri asked. No stammering, he would be fine.

“He…” Felix started. He slipped out from under the desk and sat back on his heels, trying to truly think about it. “He seems to be doing well. He thought I looked familiar. I just suggested that she might have seen me around the city or something like that.”

“Understandable,” Dimitri said. He fumbled through more papers and sat down, the chair rolling back. “I kept thinking about him last night.” 

Felix finally stopped cleaning, taking his own seat. 

“Dedue asked me if I knew what happened to him. Why we only hung out with him for a summer and that was it.” Dimitri brought his hand to the back of his head, running his hand over the part of his hair pulled back. “He moved away. But I remember it being abrupt. Do you remember at all?”

Felix leaned back on the chair, feeling it recline. Even his memory wasn’t able to yield much. “I saw him at school once.”

Dimitri turned around. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“You weren’t there. Our classes were both in the halls and he said hi, but…” Felix clenched his fist. “He had his arm in a cast. He said something about falling down stairs.” 

“Usual excuse,” Dimitri muttered. 

Felix froze and Dimitri did soon after. An unintended skill they developed at their job was being able to identify when people were lying, especially when it came to injuries. They knew when kids were trying to cover for each other or, in the scariest of circumstances, were covering up the abuse of people in their lives.

“I’m sorry,” Dimitri said, “I don’t intend to be so… pessimistic. I just…”

Felix raised his hand, though he wasn’t certain why. He wondered why he wanted Dimitri to stop speaking. Was it to protect Dimitri or to protect himself? 

The door opened and Lysithea greeted them. Felix was relieved that the conversation was able to be shelved and hopefully not returned to again.

*

It took a week before Felix saw Sylvain again. It wasn’t surprising, considering the fact that Felix’s schedule didn’t match up with most of the employees who worked at day school. Felix wanted to deny that he would keep his eye to the stairwell whenever he was at the front desk, wondering if he would catch Sylvain when he was on his way out. Even then, he didn’t know what he was going to say to him, or why he would want to say anything to him.

For someone that Felix could credit with being an important moment in his life, there was so much that had passed since then. Sylvain could have stayed in the past and Felix would have been satisfied. He was not indebted to Sylvain in a way that he had to construct for him the timeline of his life before this point. Sylvain didn’t have to know about his parent’s ugly divorce, the frantic realization that he was trans, how he begged his brother, Glenn, to do something because he was so scared that Dimitri was going to die on his watch. That it wasn’t always bad. How he got closer to his mom afterwards, his family embraced that he was trans and supported him, that Dimitri is still alive and seems to understand boundaries well enough. That life kept going without Sylvain and just because he came back didn’t mean that it had to be some grand twist of fate that required reconnection.

So life went on as it was, Felix comfortable in his role. He guarded the door, making sure none of his kids tried to leave early. He noticed several kids raising their arms against each other in the hall and he groaned. 

“Are they T-posting?” Catherine asked.

Felix rolled his eyes and marched toward them, watching Sylvain hop out of the office and raising his arms along with them.

“Hey, guys!” he chirped, “See how obnoxious this is?”

“Yeah,” the students said flatly, though they still maintained their poses.

“Don’t you think you should stop doing this in the middle of the hall?” Sylvain asked, closing in on one of them. Eventually, the three students lowered their arms, mumbling, “Sorry, Mr. Gautier…” before they sheepishly rushed down the hall.

Felix sighed, crossing his arms.

“Sorry. I have class with them, so I’m getting used to their bullshit,” Sylvain said. 

“Well, thanks,” he said, already turning his heel and walking away.

“Hey, why don’t…” Sylvain started.

“I got program!” Felix yelled, making his way back toward the desk. He heard Sylvain try to give him some sort of retort, but he didn’t bother. When he turned around, he found himself grateful that Sylvain did not bother following him.

If Felix was being honest with himself, he was endeared by the interaction. He wasn’t as loud about how much he enjoyed kids as Dimitri, but he genuinely did. He hated when people trashed children unwarranted and had dropped conversations, because he refused to hear people talk about how annoying kids were when they were well aware that he worked with them. Sure, middle schoolers were obnoxious and had no common sense, but he earned the right to say anything about it. Not some asshole in an office job that thought they were entitled to an opinion.

Sylvain walked past and said, “Hey, hope program goes well!” before running upstairs and Felix wished that he could deny that he appreciated the sentiment.

*

When Felix came into the office with his lunch the next day, he realized he had lined up his meal with Dedue and Dimitri’s daily meal and he glowered, yanking a staple on his styrofoam container a bit too loudly as Dedue passed a brightly colored glass container to Dimitri, saying that it was leftovers from their dinner the night before. He turned to the empty desk that Lysithea would typically be and wished he had taken her up on the offer to go to a fried chicken place a little farther from the school.

It was irritating knowing that every night, Dimitri came home to someone who wanted to do this type of stuff. Felix was grateful that he made enough money that he could live alone with his cat, but he couldn’t deny that he would make a lot more meals for himself if he had much of a reason to. Instead, he put his energy elsewhere, whether it was going to the gym or staring listlessly at his recommended Youtube videos. He was lonely, but he didn’t see the point in trying to change it. He was never someone who saw himself as the type to date and he would rather die than invite himself over somewhere, even if he was certain that he would be accepted. 

“Do you two make dinner  _ every night _ together?” Felix snapped.

“We meal prep!” Dimitri exclaimed, “So no, not every night.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake…” he started.

“We also prepped enough curry to surprise you with tomorrow,” Dedue said, “But if you are  _ so against it _ …”

“Fine, I’ll shut up,” Felix grumbled. He felt his tongue tingle at the thought of Dedue’s cooking. In a moment of vulnerability, he was willing to admit that Dedue made a perfect curry, always knowing exactly how much spice to put into it. Unfortunately for him, Dedue was not afraid to taunt him with it.

“Good,” Dedue muttered, turning to Dimitri again. “I have a prep period with your friend. We’ve been working together in my room for the most part.”

“I didn’t realize it was becoming a thing,” Dimitri said.

Dedue shrugged. “He keeps coming back. He has some interesting lesson plan ideas, so I keep letting him.”

Felix found himself gritting his teeth. He hated knowing that Dimitri had any insider information that Felix had no access to.

“He seems to be fitting in well enough,” Dedue said, “He has a decent understanding regarding our mutual students. I think he is doing as well as he can, considering he started at an odd point in the school year.”

“I keep missing him,” Dimitri said, “I feel as though I should probably introduce myself as the director.”

“I’ll let you know when I have prep with him. I’m sure you can stop by and say hello,” Dedue suggested.

Felix heard their voices begin to ebb and flow with conversation, unable to quite focus on it anymore. He focused on scraping his styrofoam container, not realizing that Dedue had left until he heard the door close.

*

Felix leaned into the predictability of Monday. Dimitri stumbled through his goodbyes, Felix was left alone at the desk, and classes seemed to continue to run without issue, until he heard footsteps down the stairwell and saw Sylvain walking down, a lazy grin on his face when he spotted Felix.

“Hey, Felix,” he greeted, nodding his head politely toward Catherine and Shamir. “I finally met the director of after-school today.”

“Did you now?” Felix asked. He kept his eyes on the door, hoping for a parent to enter and offset the conversation.

“Yeah. Found out he’s dating the eye candy I’ve been spending my prep periods with,” he said.

Felix rolled his eyes and grumbled, “Oh, what a shame.” 

“Right?” Sylvain asked. He was sounding sincere enough that Felix couldn’t entirely be certain that he was being facetious. “Anyway, I had the same feeling I had looking at you. Like I knew him, but I couldn’t figure out why.”

Felix sighed. He looked both ways and said, “Hey, Catherine, Shamir. Can you guard the desk for a second?”

“Will do,” Shamir said. She rolled her chair toward Felix’s and Felix got up, trying to flip his ponytail with a flourish.

He gestured toward the classroom closest to them and said, “Sorry. I don’t like my personal business being where parents can hear.”

“Understandable,” Sylvain replied. He closed the door behind Felix and said, “Sorry to distract you. I know you are supposed to be chained to the desk.”

Felix sighed.

“Get to the point.”

Sylvain nodded. “Okay, well… I was trying to figure out why  _ you two _ specifically looked so familiar and I had to ask. Did your family ever live around Fhirdiad? I’m talking, like. The suburbs of it.”

“Yes,” Felix replied. He quickly turned away, trying to focus on the chart that was hanging on the wall. It was something about how to use the internet safely. “Why do you ask?”   
  
“Because  _ I _ lived there. But, like. For a year when I was a kid. I had some friends and I spent a whole summer with them…” He turned his head, his eyes focused on the same chart. “Probably a longshot, but… Dimitri has the same last name as one of the kids I hung out with and I don’t know yours, but I was wondering if you knew them or… something.”

Felix took a deep breath. He kept reading a sentence about how to make sure that the source someone is using is legitimate.

“I think Dimitri and I were those kids,” Felix admitted. He turned toward Sylvain and added, “We went by different names back then. But… I remember you.”

Sylvain snapped his head toward him. A brilliant smile that Felix didn’t even know he could make graced his face.

“Wow,” he said, “You two still friends with the blonde girl?”

“Ingrid,” Felix replied, “And yeah. She lives nearby. She works for the Girl Scouts.”

Sylvain laughed. “Looks like we all ended up working with kids. Funny how life works.”

Felix nodded. It did some pretty improbable when laid out like this. That a unit of four people all caught up in a web again, nearly two decades later. He opened up his mouth, cut off by the sound of sneakers rushing through the halls. 

“I have to go to dismissal,” Felix said, walking out. Sylvain said goodbye and Felix weakly waved his hand before he dove into the sea of kids heading out the door.

*

Felix didn’t tell Dimitri about the realization when he arrived at the office the next day. He told himself it was because it simply did not present itself. Instead, he did his usual administrative duties, Dimitri in and out of meetings with the principal and muttering about parents. The door opened at around the same time that Dedue typically came in for lunch, but there was another person trailing behind him, just about tall enough that Dedue couldn’t entirely block him from their sight.

“Is it cool if I crash your lunch date?” Sylvain asked.

Dimitri whipped his chair around, his lone eye staring in confusion. Felix sighed and nodded.

Dedue grabbed a chair and rolled it up next to Dimitri’s, going through the motions of unpacking his lunch and providing Dimitri with his own portion and utensils. He grabbed a third container, passing it along to Felix.

“Because I promised,” Dedue grumbled. Felix couldn’t help but smirk when he opened it up and caught sight of the heated up curry. He grabbed a fork from Dedue and gladly began eating it.

“I don’t know if Felix told you, Dimitri, but I finally figured out why you and Felix looked familiar,” Sylvain said, grabbing another chair and sitting on it backwards before he grabbed a sandwich out from his lunch bag. 

“Oh,” Dimitri said. He stared at Felix for a long moment before he asked, “Where did we meet?”

“We all hung out when I lived in your town for a hot minute,” Sylvain replied before he took a bite of his sandwich.

Dimitri gave him a shaky smile and barked, “Oh! What a surprise! It is amazing to see you again!”

Felix wanted to scream. How was someone on this planet for a quarter of a century and had absolutely no capacity to lie?

“Right!” Sylvain exclaimed, “How have you two been? I mean, obviously you’re working here, but what have you been up to?”

“What have I been… up to…” Dimitri started. 

“You don’t have to share  _ every _ detail, of course,” Sylvain added, “Just… I don’t know, the highlights?”

“The highlights,” Dimitri repeated, “Right.” He cleared his throat. “Well… I, uh.”

He grabbed Dedue’s hand, though Felix wasn’t even certain he was aware that he was doing it. “I went to school and worked as a teaching assistant at this site through it. When the old director left, I applied and… here I am.” He smiled, his lips pulled tightly. “I met Dedue and found myself absolutely enthralled by him.” 

When he made eye contact with Dedue his smile relaxed. Felix swallowed a snide remark. Only Dimitri could find himself speaking with such dramatics to someone he hadn’t seen in years.

“How about you?”

Sylvain made a face that looked dangerously similar to the smile that Dimitri had given to him earlier.

“I mean! Took a longass time trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I was in college. I eventually figured out that I wanted to teach and focused on that. Had to do some maternity leave replacements and whatever, but I got this job and I have been pretty happy with it so far.” He took another bite of his sandwich and said, “Can’t say I found a hot science teacher to call my own, but I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate this place, so I’m gonna take my time with that one.”

Dedue covered his face and Dimitri lifted his chin the slightest bit.

“I meant it when I said that he is enthralling,” he bragged, grinning.

“What about you, Felix?” Sylvain asked.

Felix shrugged. “I went to school, hated it, Dimitri made the old director hire me as a martial arts instructor, and then somehow we were entrusted to be promoted to director and assistant director.” 

Sylvain raised his eyebrows. “Wow. You two really have been friends forever.”

Felix wanted to deny it. He felt the temptation rise in the back of his throat like a bile that he had to swallow down with determination. After all, it wasn’t the truth. Instead, he nodded his head and gave a tepid, “Yeah,” before he took another forkful of curry and shovel it to his mouth.

“So I saw a flyer about a school auction,” Sylvain noted, “Dedue, are we supposed to go to that?”

Dedue shrugged. “Teachers are encouraged to. I would avoid it, but Dimitri and Felix are going, as they are… auctioned off.”

Sylvain’s eyes lit up. “Oh,  _ do tell _ ,” he said.

Dimitri sighed. “It’s a tradition that started with the past director. People can place money on spending an evening with the two of us at a restaurant that’s owned by one of the parents whose kids go to after-school. It usually ends with someone’s parent getting drunk and saying we are too attractive to be working in education.”

“We also get told about someone’s cousin who is single and would  _ love _ us,” Felix added.

Sylvain laughed as Dedue covered his face.

“Oh, I  _ gotta _ see this,” Sylvain said.

“If you would like. I think you don’t have to pay for a ticket as a staff member,” Dimitri said.

“Oh, I definitely gotta go then,” Sylvain said.

Felix stared at the wall, holding his breath to resist begging him not to.

*

Program was going well until a staff member scrambled toward Felix’s desk, a look of panic on their face. They stammered that a student had gotten hurt and Felix sighed, putting the staff member on the desk and walking toward the gym. He brought the kid inside, listening to them explain their injury through their tears. 

It took three Band-Aids and an ice pack to placate them, but what ended up being a scraped elbow was resolved. He wrote it in the first aid log, glancing up when he heard the door open.

Dimitri entered, tossing equipment on their shelves before he froze, his lips pressing together. 

“Do you have a second?” Dimitri asked.

Felix put his pen down, sitting back on the chair.

“I was thinking about how we should probably tell Ingrid that we found Sylvain,” Dimitri said.

Felix stared at Dimitri, unable to come up with a retort. Ingrid had that effect on the two of them. It was bad enough that they never saw each other as much as they should, even if they were all living in or near the city. 

“We’re due for a dinner,” Dimitri suggested, “We could invite Sylvain. Bring us back together after all this time.”

Felix grabbed his pen, continuing to fill in the log.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Dimitri asked.

“You seem pretty intent on making it happen. So whatever. It’s happening.”

Dimitri stared at him for a long moment.

“If you don’t wish to reconnect with him…” he started.

“I didn’t say that,” Felix snapped.

Dimitri flinched, his eye wide.

He took a deep breath and said, “I’ll call Ingrid and handle everything. I’ll just tell you where to meet.”

He left the room before he even bothered to have Felix respond to him.

*

Felix ran up the stairs, spotting the restaurant from across the train station. He shuffled toward it, his hands in his pockets. 

He liked Ingrid. He hated how their families made jokes about her marrying Glenn back in the day, but their friendship held up in spite of it. 

Even then, interacting with her was getting difficult. She had a boyfriend that she really liked. They were a good fit for each other. He was a bit of an oaf type, but he was kind and there were no notable red flags. But with Ingrid and Dimitri together in their seemingly wonderful relationships, Felix felt like he was out of step. He felt shameful for it. He wanted to believe that he was someone who was more than capable of being able to stand on his own in so many ways, but there was an ache that came up only when Dimitri and Ingrid were talking about their partners. Felix desperately wanted to do anything to tamp it down, even if he was certain that he had no idea how to do it.

He opened the restaurant door and spotted Dimitri, Ingrid, and Sylvain sitting at a booth. Ingrid and Dimitri were sitting next to each other and appeared to be smiling gently at Sylvain, who was gesticulating his hands as he appeared to be telling a story. At least Sylvain looked like he could hold his own in a conversation like this.

Felix took a deep breath and walked over, tepidly waving in their general direction. He walked over and Dimitri and Ingrid greeted him, Sylvain pausing his story to slide over and make space for him. Felix sat down next to him, grabbing a menu and opening it up.

Sylvain completed a story about some weird altercation that took place in front of his classroom. Dimitri and Ingrid laughed, Dimitri making a comment about how it sounded like it was a typical incident for the students. Felix was relieved that someone came over to get their drink orders and that Sylvain offered to pay for the first round.

“So what do you do Ingrid?” Sylvain asked, “Dimitri said something about Girl Scouts?”

Ingrid nodded her head. She took a sip of the water closest to her before she said, “Yeah, I am the camp director of a site not too far from the city. We swap stories about some of the weird stuff our kids do.”

“She usually wins,” Dimitri added, “Her campers are much younger than ours, so they tend to get a bit… stranger…”

“First day of camp last year we had a pair of sisters who were runners,” Ingrid said. Her eyes lit up when the waitstaff returned with their drinks and grabbed her pint of beer, taking a long sip. 

“Runners?” Sylvain asked.

“Think about it,” Felix said, taking a sip of his own drink.

Sylvain’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit, they just ran into the woods?”

Ingrid leaned in, smiling grimly. “Oh, even worse. They ran toward the busy road that’s dangerously close to our site.”

Sylvain cringed. “What did you do about it?”

“I had a staff member that’s a track superstar. So she just… bolted.”

The conversation continued in that direction, sharing stories about their jobs. Sylvain didn’t appear to pry much and it allowed Felix to relax the slightest bit, his thighs pressing against Sylvain’s after two rounds of drinks. Sylvain brought his arm across the back of the booth, Felix trying his best to not overanalyze the gesture.

“So let’s rip off the Band Aid,” Sylvain said, “Dimitri, you’re clearly with Dedue. Which… seems pretty seriously, yeah?”

Dimitri was already slightly flushed, but his cheeks found a way to get even redder. “Yes, I suppose that is a good word for it,” he said.

“Do you two want to get married or anything?” Sylvain asked, “Not saying you had to. Just being nosy.”

Dimitri’s eye widened before he grabbed his drink and took a long sip. He put it down, the glass making a loud noise against the wooden tabletop. “Oh, I mean! We… we would like to, yes. It’s just a matter of timing.”

Felix brought his elbows on the table, resting his chin in his hands. He hadn’t heard Dimitri say it in such plain language, but it made sense. Even if they hadn’t been together for a long time, they acted as if it was far longer, the two of them content with the domesticity they had created together. 

“Are you seeing anyone, Ingrid?” Sylvain asked.

Ingrid smiled. “I’m seeing somebody. Raphael. I met him in college.”

“He’s an oaf,” Felix muttered.

“He’s incredibly kind,” Dimitri said.

“Didn’t say he couldn’t be both,” Felix sniped, rolling his eyes.

“Luckily, I don’t seek Felix’s approval in my dating habits,” Ingrid said. She leaned back and said, “He runs his mouth a lot about it, even though he’s single.”

Sylvain glanced at Felix and Felix tried to ignore the heat behind it. He deflected, taking a sip of his own drink and shrugging.

“So what?” he asked, “If I find someone, I find someone, but I’m not going to stress out about it.”

“I mean, it’s one of those things that can fall into your lap, you know,” Sylvain said.

Felix took a deep breath. “I mean, sure. Yeah. I know.” He finished off his drink and slammed the glass loudly on the table, waiting for someone to come to them to get another round.

He leaned back on the chair, accidentally brushing against Sylvain’s arm. He felt Sylvain drop his arm back toward his side and Felix hated how disappointed he was by his reaction. He hated how he felt when he was attracted toward someone, especially the fluttering feeling that seemed to rattle throughout his body, vibrating clearer whenever he was close to the person.

It didn’t help that Sylvain was just enjoyable to be around. He seemed able to hold his alcohol, loose, but pleasant after three rounds. Dimitri and Ingrid were giggly drunks, the two of them unable to stop each other from laughing over seemingly mundane statements. Felix wished he could be so carefree, but it was a barrier he never really knew how to clear. Even if his body was moving looser, his mind was always locked when it came to truly submerging himself in the group.

The drinks slowly drained and Ingrid muttered that she had a long commute home. Dimitri offered his couch, but she was insistent, saying that she promised Raphael that she was going to come back home that night. Dimitri announced that he was going to walk Ingrid to the train station, leaving Felix and Sylvain alone.

“I suppose you want to head back home, too?” Sylvain asked.

Felix nodded. “I’m pretty sure my cat would tear up my furniture if she had to wait for food any longer.”

“Fair enough,” Sylvain said, “Let me walk you to the train station.”

Felix sighed. He was a grown man. He knew how to get back to the train station, especially when it was across the street. Even then, he couldn’t help but find himself endeared by the gesture. He shoved his hands in pockets, loose enough that he felt comfortable turning over to look at Sylvain. 

“I really appreciate you guys organizing that,” Sylvain said, “It meant so much to bring all of us together.”

Felix nodded. He wished that he felt something magical with the reunion. Even then, there wasn’t much to truly surprise him with outside of the fact that Sylvain seemed to fit into the group well again. Dimitri was still himself, Ingrid was still herself, and even if Felix wanted to change, he never could. He was a stubbornly fixed object. It was how he was able to survive as long as he had.

They crossed the street, making their way toward the train station. Felix stopped before the steps, turning in toward Sylvain. He took a deep breath, looking up at Sylvain. “It was nothing,” he finally said.

Sylvain grinned. He reached out, his hands awkwardly hovering between the two of them. Felix slipped his hands out of his pockets, unable to bridge the gap. 

“Well, I gotta go a couple blocks down for my train,” Sylvain said, “I’ll see ya tomorrow?”

Felix nodded. “Yeah, sure,” he said. They both inched closer together, Sylvain leaning closer into him. Felix tilted his head toward him, still entirely unprepared for Sylvain to leave a light peck on his cheek. Felix felt his heart pound, raising his eyebrows as he watched Sylvain back away, waving enthusiastically before he rushed down the street.

*

Felix had no interest in chasing Sylvain back over the kiss. It was too easy to dismiss as a decision that was too heavily dictated by alcohol. It helped that Sylvain didn’t appear to make any effort to bring it up, even if he was his typical, affable self. So Felix kept it to himself, assuming that it was something that he didn’t need to ruminate on, even though he couldn’t help but want to find a way to conveniently meet Sylvain anywhere outside of the school to see if Sylvain would do it again. 

Unfortunately, the only time that Felix was going to spend any time with Sylvain outside of the work day was the auction. He got dressed in the office, not even caring that Dimitri was across the room doing the same thing. They both decided on wearing collared shirts--Felix’s a deep teal color with Dimitri’s being the same shade of blue he seemed to always gravitate toward, intentionally or not--and slacks. Felix debated unbuttoning one or two buttons on his shirt as Dimitri sprayed too much cologne on the sides of his neck.

Shuffling was loud beyond their door. The parent association was in the process of turning the gym into a venue, decorating the padding on the walls with fairy lights and setting up the tables for the auction items to be displayed at. 

Felix decided on two buttons undone, sitting down at his chair. Dimitri eventually sat at his own, turning his chair to face Felix. He watched Felix for a long moment, a habit that Felix wished was unusual for him. 

Dimitri took a deep breath and said, “I have some information I have to share with you.”

His voice was grave. It was a tone that he hadn’t heard in a long while.

“What is it?” Felix asked.

Dimitri opened his mouth, instantly cut off by someone knocking on the door. Dimitri got up and opened it, smiling and leaning in to kiss the person at the door. Dedue entered quickly, dressed in a light gray suit. 

“Sylvain is still getting ready,” he said, bringing his hands to the collar of Dimitri’s shirt. “You got this all flipped in the back…”.

Dimitri laughed, apologizing in the softest voice before Dedue grabbed and tugged on his earlobe playfully.

Someone knocked on the door again. When they opened it up, it was one of the parents asking for help with moving something. Dimitri said he could jump in, leaving Felix and Dedue alone.

“I have to speak with you at some point tonight,” Dedue said.

“Dimitri said the same thing. You two hiding something from me?” Felix asked.

“I am not sure what Dimitri wishes to speak with you about,” Dedue responded flatly.

Felix snorted. “Well, why don’t you tell me now while Sylvain is preening and Dimitri is out overextending himself.”

Dedue nodded. He leaned against a filing cabinet, seemingly towering over it. He looked up at the ceiling before he said, “I intend on proposing to Dimitri this summer.”

Felix jumped up, trying to maintain composure in his face.

“Oh,” he said, “What do you expect me to do here? It’s not like you traditionally ask a friend for permission or anything.”

“This isn’t me asking for permission,” Dedue said, his eyes burning bright, “I’m telling you.”

There was a misconception about Dedue and Dimitri’s relationship and admittedly Felix fell into it frequently. Most of it had formed from the version of Dimitri that existed before he started his job as a director. The black hole that was hellbent on having his darkness consume everything, including himself. But Dedue was a force of nature all his own, somehow pulling a softness out of Dimitri that was more concentrated and intentional than the clumsy kindness that defined Dimitri in his childhood.

Felix knew that Dedue saw sides to Dimitri that for a time only Felix had an unfortunate access to. Even if he knew a version of Dimitri that knew how to handle it, Dedue could have identified it as too much and moved on. But he was determined to stay, perhaps permanently.

“The kids will lose their minds if they find out,” Felix pointed out.

“They will,” Dedue agreed, “I don’t mind. I don’t think Dimitri will, either.”

Felix nodded. He took out his phone to glance at his reflection, pushing strands of his hair strategically forward and back. 

“There is one thing I would like to ask,” Dedue said.

Felix put his phone on his desk, craning his neck expectantly. 

“I might ask you to ask him some questions about jewelry. If you don’t mind. I want to make sure I get him a ring that he would actually want to wear.”

Felix rolled his eyes.

“What?” Dedue asked.

“He’d wear a Ring Pop if you gave it to him,” Felix pointed out.

A smile flashed across Dedue’s face for a brief moment before he said, “I’m going to see if I can stop having Dimitri’s labor be exploited. I’ll see you outside.”

Felix spun around in his chair. Dimitri was going to hit a new level of insufferable when he’s engaged. He wasn’t going to shove a ring in people’s faces. He was never that type of ostentatious, so he doubted he would brag about the ring. He was going to be the one who constantly called Dedue his fiancé, the love of his life, his other half, that the ring was a punctuation at the end of that statement, because his object permanence was such shit he needed something like this.

Maybe Dedue knew this. Maybe Felix needed to give Dedue more credit. But that was not happening without at least a few visits to the open bar that was just outside.

He opened up the door, catching Sylvain entering the gym. He stopped nearly immediately, admiring the set up. Felix took the space next to him, crossing his arms. He spotted Dedue and Dimitri on the opposite wall, Dedue talking to Dimitri as Dimitri adjusted the tablecloth on the closest table.

“Well, they tried to make it look different,” Sylvain said.

Felix turned to finally allow himself to look at his outfit. He was in a carefully tapered black suit, a black undershirt and black dress pants finishing off the look. 

“Wait, so you and Dimitri aren’t wearing jackets?” Sylvain asked, “That’s not fair.”   
  
“A perk of being an after-school director is that you don’t have to follow dress code,” Felix said.

“Fair enough,” Sylvain replied. He took out his phone and said, “So Dedue mentioned that the auction is done off of some app?”

“You’re not seriously thinking about placing a bid on anything, are you?” Felix asked, “It’s just, like… tickets to a musical and whatever.”

“Eh, I just want to see some of the options. Maybe see what spa basket all the moms are clamouring over.” He laughed at his own joke and said, “No, seriously, what’s the name of the app?”

Felix sighed. “Let me set it up,” he said.

He leaned over and grabbed the phone from Sylvain, trying his best to ignore that his hand brushed against Sylvain’s before he pulled up the app and downloaded it. He returned it to Sylvain and Sylvain thanked him, beginning to scroll through the options. He noted several of them, only glancing up when Dedue and Dimitri joined them.

“You should probably clear the doorway,” Dimitri said, “They’re about to start letting people in.”

They shuffled to a table that was not in the direct line of sight of the entrance. Felix asked if anyone wanted anything to drink and wasn’t surprised that Sylvain followed him, claiming that he was going to help him carry them.

“Are you planning on staying the whole event?” Sylvain asked.

Felix shrugged, leaning against the bar and ordering whatever sparkling wine they had for Dimitri. “Why?” he asked, watching the bartender pour the drink. 

“I dunno. Wondering if you would be interested in cutting out a little early so we could maybe grab dinner or something? I feel like we haven’t been able to talk much.”

No mention of the kiss. Sure, it wasn’t a kiss on the lips, but Felix would have liked some kind of acknowledgment as to it even happening. But maybe it was so insignificant to Sylvain, he thought nothing of it. 

“Uh,” Felix said, “I don’t know. I usually get guilted into helping out with cleaning. If only to prevent Dimitri from not getting out of here until midnight.”

Sylvain nodded. “Totally understandable,” he said, “But… let’s make sure we grab dinner sometime.”

Felix focused on ordering his own drink, lifting his chin. “Sure, whatever,” he grumbled.

They entered an uncomfortable silence between the two of them, Sylvain finishing up ordering his drinks. They returned to the table, Dimitri caught up in a conversation with a pair of parents as Dedue leaned against the table, greedily taking his drink from Sylvain’s hand.

“ _ Felix _ !” the mom exclaimed. She opened her arms, Felix tepidly shuffling over toward her. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly before she pulled away and grinned at him. In truth, he hadn’t seen her since early last year. It was a common progression that took place with parents. Many parents started at the beginning of the year having their children be required to be picked up, slowly allowing their children to be picked up as an alternative. Apparently, he was still viewed favorably, the parent seemingly overjoyed.

“I saw that you two are on the app for the date… I’m going to wait until the bids start coming in, but I’ll try to give it a shot,” she said. 

“Well, it would be a lovely time, I’m certain,” Dimitri replied. He took a sip of his drink, holding it with both hands as if he was a child. 

“You’re too kind,” the mother said, reaching out to run her hand on his shoulder. Dimitri pressed his lips together, trying his best to not show an obvious reaction. Dedue appeared as unbothered as he could be, idly talking to Sylvain as Sylvain was on his phone.

The parents eventually left Dimitri and Felix alone. Felix brushed his shoulders off and Dimitri sighed before he took another drink.

“I hate this,” he said, “We have to do it, but I hate this.”

Dedue brought his arm toward the back of Dimitri’s arm and rested it there for a long moment. He brought it down when another parent approached them.

Conversations with parents at events like this were easy enough. Felix liked children and it took a lot for him to genuinely dislike children. Most of the parents here had kids that he enjoyed and had memories with. A drink or two in him and he found himself sharing memories about each child, the parents laughing or cooing over his attention to detail.

Sylvain and Dedue were decent backup, the two of them jumping into conversations and pulling Dimitri and Felix aside when the conversations went too long. Felix tried to ignore that Sylvain was beginning to be comfortable enough to grab Felix’s wrist and hand. A part of Felix wished he could grab back, but his hand had no interest in reacting, only allowing himself to be in Sylvain’s personal space for a long moment before he pulled away.

The catering line opened up and they grabbed food, Dimitri saying, “I still need to talk to you,” the moment they settled at the table again.

“You should be able to talk in the auditorium,” Dedue suggested. Felix wondered if this spoke to the absolute trust Dedue had in Dimitri or if he actually knew about whatever Dimitri was going to speak to Felix about.

“Uh, sure,” Felix said, “Let’s go while everyone is distracted.”

Dimitri nodded. He led Felix out of the room, crossing over to the auditorium. Dimitri turned on the lights, taking a seat on the edge of the stage, Felix trailing behind.

The two of them took bites of bland tasting pasta before Felix said, “Out with it.”

Dimitri sighed. “One of the sites in our portfolio is about to open up. The director is going to be moving out of the city.”

Felix shrugged. He appreciated that Dimitri didn’t bother to give him details of who. Felix refused to interact much with any of the directors. His priority was always going to be with his site and his kids.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked.

“Because I was asked if I would recommend you for the opening,” Dimitri said.

Felix jerked his head toward him, squinting at Dimitri for a long moment. “And what did you say?” he asked.

“I said that I felt that you were ready for the job. Especially because it would start in the summer, giving you enough time to prepare your site for September.” Dimitri chewed on a piece of lettuce for an uncomfortably long time before he said, “And I believe it. You’ve been at this site for two years. You watched me, sure, but most importantly, you figured out what to do as an individual. I think it’s time for you to be able to show off your talents as a director and stand on your own.”

“What do you mean by standing on my own?” Felix snapped.

“Felix, I know you took this job to look after me,” Dimitri said.

Felix felt his jaw clench, an ache forming in his teeth. “That’s not true.”

Dimitri closed his eyes, taking a slow, deep breath before he opened them again. “I know there were other factors. But I think we can both agree that you stayed to keep tabs.” He put his plate down to bring his legs up, resting his chin on his knees. “I used to hold it against you. I felt weak for needing an assistant director who was also a friend. Who seemed to know my emotions better than I knew my own.” He took another deep breath. “I appreciate these two years I’ve been able to spend with you. But I think that you are more than ready to start doing your own great work at your own site.”

Felix shook his head. “I like it here.”

His voice sounded more flimsy than he wanted it to be.

“I know you do,” he said, “And if your own greatness is not enough of a motivation, then consider my plan if you accept this position.”

“What is it?” Felix asked.

Dimitri brought his arms over his head, reaching out toward the ceiling. “So here’s my vision,” he said, “You know that Lysithea is graduating this month, yes?”

“She is?” Felix asked.

“You two talk constantly and you didn’t know that?” Dimitri asked.

Felix shrugged. In truth, most of his conversations with Lysithea were about work. She didn’t seem interested in speaking much deeper than that unless they truly got their work done for the day. He always liked that about her. 

“I was hoping that if you got the director position, I could get Lysithea your position. Give her a full time job right out of college. It would be a significant raise for her and give her benefits and everything that she needs to make sure that she can thrive. My old director gave me that opportunity and I would like to pay it forward.”

Felix willed his mouth open only to swallow too hard on his pasta. He felt it roll down his throat, pain briefly trailing with it. There was nothing selfish about Dimitri’s plan. He knew that he would disturb the systems he had carefully put into place for the past two years to ensure that Lysithea was comfortable. That Felix could continue to grow. He wondered if this was a conversation he went through with his therapist. He knew he did that with major conversations. He used to think it was ridiculous. How could someone need such guidance over so many aspects of their lives? Even then, he couldn’t deny that he was glad that there were far less tears when they had serious discussion. Dimitri was not who he used to be. It was still difficult for Felix to entirely believe it, but he knew there would be a time that it wouldn’t be.

“This is my home, Dimitri,” Felix said.

Dimitri nodded. “I understand. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make your new site home. And it doesn’t mean that you can’t call me whenever you need help.” He leaned in closer to say, “And if you’re worried about Sylvain, maybe this will be the kick you need to actually do something about it.”

Felix glared at him. “What do you know about that?” he asked.

“He has feelings for you,” Dimitri said, “I’m not sure how deep, but whenever you are near he tries to be as close to you as he can with it still be appropriate.”

Felix bit the inside of his lip. If Dimitri was able to get his head out of his own ass long enough to see it, then it had to be obvious to everyone else.

“I’m confirming my recommendation tomorrow,” Dimitri said, “You will most likely be asked for an interview within the next two weeks. It’s up to you how you do with that interview and if you accept the position or not. But I hope you do.”

Felix wanted to have a quip of some sort. He realized that he didn’t have one, so he opted for his usual reaction when he ran into similar dead ends. He rolled his eyes, getting up and walking toward the door.

*

A parent that was impersonating an auctioneer called Dimitri and Felix up to the mic as a final push for the option. 

Dimitri sighed, undoing another botton on his collared shirt before he slipped from Dedue’s arm and walked toward the mic, Felix following behind him. 

Felix wondered how many people in the room realized that they were trans. He was grateful that he was able to pass as a short cis guy most of the time, but Dimitri was particularly blessed with tall stature, apparently descending from a long line of tow haired giants. Working at this school was a hard reset, the two of them able to exist in a space without a major development in their transition for the first time in their lives. 

They were hidden in plain sight. It was a point that Felix wanted to be at as long as he could remember, but he never thought it would culminate in parents contemplating how much money they wanted to drop to stare at him for a dinner.

He spotted Dedue and Sylvain standing toward the front, Dedue whispering to Sylvain as Sylvain continued to do something on his phone. 

The auctioneer began counting down when the app would close and grabbed their own phone, announcing Sylvain as the winner.

Felix and Dimitri looked up, squinting at him. Sylvain waved, smiling as Dedue covered his face. They bolted toward them, Dimitri tilting his head and Felix glaring at Sylvain.

“What the fuck?” Felix asked.

Sylvain grinned. “I can explain, I can explain!” he said, waving his hand. “Uh…  _ shit _ , I didn’t think this part of the plan through.” He cleared his throat. “I figured if we weren’t going to have dinner plans tonight, I might as well make sure we don’t end up in some making plans loop. So I figured I would try to win the dinner with the… what’s the description on the app…  _ selfless  _ duo that is Dimitri Blaiddyd and Felix Fraldarius.”

Dimitri laughed. “Selfless, eh?” he asked, “I appreciate your plan, but I was holding out to get a free meal.”

“Oh, of course. I figured you and Dedue can go have a date. Assuming you two would like that.”

Dimitri tilted his head toward Dedue and grinned, Dedue smiling back. “I can live with that,” he said, “But… what about you, Felix? Are you all right with this plan?”

Felix faced Sylvain, crossing his arms. The word date wasn’t being used, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that Sylvain was hoping it would come off as such. He stared at Sylvain’s face, as if appraising it would make him feel any differently about the decisions. He liked Sylvain. He could accept that. He wasn’t sure how he would feel after having to spend time alone with him for an extended time, especially if Dedue and Dimitri had front row seats, but he wanted to try.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” he replied.

“Awesome. I gotta find the parent who owns this place and figure out how to get a reservation set up,” Sylvain said, waving his phone excitedly.

*

Felix wasn’t certain how he got talked into getting ready for the auction dinner at Dedue and Dimitri’s apartment. 

He wondered if he was getting soft, because when he stood in their place, he was strangely endeared by the space they created for themselves. He stood in their bathroom, checking himself in the mirror and taking a look at the Post It notes they had attached to the edge of the mirror. It looked like they were affirmations written in each other’s handwriting, Dedue reminding Dimitri that his passion was not a sign of weakness and Dimitri telling Dedue that he deserved to make time for himself. 

He tried to focus on his reflection again. He tried to imagine what it would be like to be with someone and wanting to be open enough with them to have that level of communication. The thought of someone knowing his flaws and wanting to see him grow from them felt like an impossible task. 

He opened up the door and walked toward the main room, leaning against the counter. He saw a piece of paper and glanced at the title of it, seeing that it was some sort of brainstorming session for potential vacation trips. He remembered what Dedue had said about proposing to Dimitri and was surprised by the way that the corners of his lips pulled into a slight smile. 

“Ready to go?” Dimitri asked.

Felix looked up and nodded, following the two of them out. He shoved his hands in his pockets, grateful that the weather was warm enough that none of them had to worry about layers.

They were apparently walking distance from the restaurant, Dedue and Dimitri walking side-by-side and chatting while Felix trailed behind. Sylvain was waiting outside of the restaurant, hugging Dedue and Dimitri and pausing in front of Felix.

“Thanks for coming,” Sylvain said.

“It’s a part of the agreement,” Felix said. He saw Sylvain’s smile falter and Felix quickly added, “I mean, I’m glad you won. I would rather make small talk with you than with one of my kids’ parents.”

He could see Dedue and Dimitri cringe at each other for a moment. He quickly darted toward the door, opening it up and letting the three of them in before he trailed behind.

The restaurant was one of those modern types that was a fusion between two cultures that seemed like they wouldn’t quite mesh until you realized that their seasonings weren’t too different. The place was decorated in a stark manner and Felix wondered if it was fancy enough to have waitstaff clean the crumbs off their table between courses.

They got seated, Felix and Sylvain sitting at a table and Dedue and Dimitri sitting within eye shot, but several tables away. There was a bottle of champagne that came out for the two of them and they turned toward Sylvain, Dimitri mouthing thank you as Dedue pursed his lips.

“That was nice of you,” Felix noted.

“I figured they deserve it. Dedue, especially. He’s been really helping me out since I’ve started this job.”

“Do you know if you’re going to be rehired for next year yet?” Felix asked.

“I actually got the confirmation earlier this week,” Sylvain said, “Principal did the ole ‘well,  _ next year _ ’ thing and then said that I will be getting a contract sent my way soon. Apparently I’ve made a really strong impression within such a short amount of time.”

“Good to hear,” Felix said. He took a deep breath, grabbing the drink menu. He made his order when the waitstaff stopped by and he leaned back on his chair, thinking about next year. He was asked to come in for an interview about the director position. 

He made the decision to take the interview seriously, but not just accept the position arbitrarily. He wanted to see the site for himself to determine if it was a good fit for himself and if it wasn’t, he wanted to have the right to reject it. 

Even with this plan, he hadn’t revealed it to anyone. He knew that the moment he did, Dimitri would tell Lysithea, students would find out, and he would have to have conversations that he was not even remotely ready for.

Their drinks came out and Sylvain raised his, waiting for Felix to bring his up as well. “To childhood friends being reunited again. And a future that will allow us to grow into whatever we need to be for each other.” 

Felix smirked, clinging his glass against his before he took a sip.

“How sweet,” he said after he swallowed.

Sylvain smiled. “I mean, we haven’t really talked about it. We were so young, there was no way that we were going to be able to keep in touch. Who knows how everything lined up the way that it did, but I’m glad it happened.”

Felix closed his eyes and all he saw was the two of them in grade school. When he passed through the hall and saw Sylvain in a notable sling. How he smiled at Felix and his eyes were strangely dim, no longer the bright and shining face that dominated his summer.

“Sylvain, why did you move away?” he asked.

Sylvain looked down, bringing his drink down and swirling it carefully in his glass. He took a deep breath and said, “I mean… I moved around a lot when I was a kid. The reasons all blur together.”

Felix waited for Sylvain to finally look him in the eye. It wasn’t an answer. He thought about what Dimitri said about Sylvain’s return. How it was entirely possible that Sylvain was covering up some form of abuse.

Felix nodded his head. 

“Did you ever really move from the area?” Sylvain asked.

Felix shrugged. “My parents divorced a few years afterwards. So I had to shuttle between two houses, but stayed in town. An attempt at consistency or whatever.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that?” Sylvain asked, “Not really sure what the sentiment should be.”

“I think I like them better when they’re divorced, if I’m being honest,” Felix replied. 

“I mean, it makes sense,” Sylvain said, “Not every relationship is gonna last forever. Arguably, most shouldn’t.” He turned to see Dedue and Dimitri talking to each other, this heads leaned in close. “They’ve seriously been together for longer than three months? They’re still absolutely smitten.”

Felix sighed. “I can’t believe Dimitri found someone who can match him in terms of intensity,” he muttered.

Sylvain turned to Felix again. Felix knew that Sylvain wanted to ask more about Dimitri. He certainly spent enough time with him to know that something was up with him. His disarmingly earnest demeanor prevented people from overthinking his eye patch, the patches of ripped skin on his lips, or the pale scars on his limbs. Sylvain was smart enough to put everything together, but respectful enough to avoid asking him. 

“It’s not really an opposites attract situation,” Sylvain noted, “Interesting how that works sometimes…”

“You don’t always need that, I suppose,” Felix said, “Ingrid and Raphael are kind of similar. Everything will make sense when you meet him.”

“Oh, so you want to keep me around. Good to know,” Sylvain said.

Felix sighed. “I guess I fell into that one,” he admitted.

“I mean. It would be nice to get some form of confirmation as to where your head is at,” Sylvain said, “I feel like I’m trying to give you pretty clear signs, but I haven’t really been told anything either way.”

Felix took a sip, grateful that the waitstaff returned to take their orders. They made them and the waitstaff left, Sylvain leaning in toward him expectantly.

“I’m only asking because if you want me to stop, I will stop,” Sylvain said, “No hard feelings. I don’t want to try and flirt with someone if they clearly don’t want me to.”

Felix took a deep breath. “I don’t… hate it,” he said, “I’m just…” He felt something warm bubble in the back of his throat. He wasn’t sure what to refer to it as other than a genuine emotion. “...I don’t really. Date. I’ve fallen into any relationship I’ve ever had. So this whole thing… this dance… I’m don’t know how to follow it.”

“But you want to,” Sylvain noted.

Felix sighed loudly.

“I mean, yeah,” he finally admitted, “Sure.”

Sylvain grinned. “Then I don’t mind leading!” Sylvain exclaimed.

Felix couldn’t help but smile with him.

The conversation flowed easier after that. It helped that Sylvain didn’t mind leading it. Or that whenever Felix had a barb aimed at him he took it, sometimes even being willing to toss one back. The food was decent enough, but Felix realized pretty quickly that he was content to talk to Sylvain anywhere. 

The meal wound down, Dedue and Dimitri meeting up with them.

“I think we’re going to head back to our place if you would like to join us?” Dimitri asked.

Felix and Sylvain stared at each other for a long moment. 

“Uh, what do you think, Felix?” Sylvain asked.

Felix stared at him for a long moment, glancing up at Dedue and Dimitri and back to him. “I was wondering if maybe we could… go back to my place?”

Dedue and Dimitri were definitely grinning, but he didn’t care. Sylvain just smiled and said, “Sure, I would be honored.”

“Well, have fun you two,” Dedue said.

“Yeah, have a good night!” Dimitri added. The two of them slipped away before Felix could snap at them.

Sylvain took care of the bill and they walked toward the train station, the cool night air against their skin. They made it to the steps and Felix looked up at Sylvain, smirking. “Why  _ did _ you kiss me on the cheek like that after we had dinner with Dimitri and Ingrid?”

Sylvain laughed. “It seemed like we spent most of the dinner next to each other. I just figured it would be a nice way to end the night. Why?”

Felix reached out toward him and pulled him close, kissing him on the lips. Sylvain was frozen in place for a brief moment before he kissed back, pulling back to grin. 

“Night’s not over yet,” Sylvain pointed out, his voice deep.

“No, it’s not,” Felix agreed. He darted down the stairs, Sylvain following him. They made it to a train and jumped on it, thankfully on a car that they could still talk to each other without being pushed too close together.

Felix thought about the interview he had on Monday. His eyes widened before he said, “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay,” Sylvain said.

“I think… I might get promoted. Like, out of the school,” he explained.

Sylvain nodded. “Cool. It better come with a raise,” he said.

Felix tilted his head. “Are you not mad?”

“Dude, why would I be mad? You should want to always strive to do better. I don’t need you to work at the same place that I do. What are we, Dedue and Dimitri?”

Felix scrunched his nose, unable to resist laughing. “I guess you’re right,” he said. He leaned in and kissed Sylvain again, Sylvain kissing back. They broke their kiss as the train slowed down, Felix covering his mouth.

“I’m serious, though,” Sylvain said, “I want you to do what makes you happy. If it means working a new job that you enjoy, I’m all for it. I’m sure Dimitri would feel the same way.”

Felix nodded. “It was his idea,” he noted.

“Well, there you go,” Sylvain said. “You do a kickass job. Your kids think you’re cool as hell. You’ll get new kids to want to follow your every move no problem.”

Felix smiled, muttering thanks and checking the stops. When they finally made it to his stop, he led Sylvain out of the train and up toward his apartment. 

Sylvain was right. Felix was surprised that he could have such certainty from someone he had only just reunited with, but he was right. There was a comfort in what he knew, but it didn’t mean that he was unable to keep his connections. If he and Sylvain were meant to work, they would. He could throw paperclips at Dimitri’s head when they were at the main office that all the directors were based out of. Nothing was the end of the world, especially after all the bullshit they all survived before this moment in time.

“Well, if we’re going to work out, there is a major test,” Felix mentioned, stopping in front of his apartment.

“Which is?” Sylvain asked.

“My cat has to approve of you.”

Sylvain laughed, but swallowed. He took a deep breath and said, “Okay. Fair enough. And if your cat doesn’t like me?”

“You’re out,” Felix said.

Sylvain put his hands on his hips, striking a pose. “Well, then I guess I just have to try my best!” he exclaimed.

“Better be careful. She’s a terror,” Felix said. It was an absolute lie, but he wanted to keep Sylvain on his toes. He kissed Sylvain once more before he unlocked the door, kicking the door open and letting Sylvain in, unable to resist draping his hand across Sylvain’s waist as they walked down the hall.


End file.
